Today is the most important day in the world to me.
About a year ago, a little more than that, I was this awkward, stupid teenage girl who didn't understand love and thought it would be a waste of my time. I wanted nothing to do with relationships. I felt like I wasn't as close to my friends as I should be. Life was sort of awkward for me, and dare I say it... Boring. I sort of just went through life unprepared and not even considering what lies ahead of me, and only caring half-assedly about everything. I had no motive. Especially with my art, it was just sort of... There. There was nothing special about it and I had no real plans on where to take it. That's sort of how I could describe my life.
One day, I got rather tired of drawing my old OCs because it felt like no one cared about them and that made me not care either. I had recently gotten into My Little Pony, so I made a separate account to draw ponies. I sort of hoped they'd get more appreciation, I guess. I'm so thankful I made that account. One day, I met this funny, cute boy named Nathan. We started to get to know each other, at first through ponies, but then we focused on each other. After a while I knew I was developing a crush on him. I didn't want to admit it to myself though, so I just tried to push it away, but it didn't go away. It just grew stronger. Nathan and I talked every single day, all day for a while. I thought he was amazing and silly and just a really great person. He was everything I wanted.
One night, I remember he was upset so I tried to cheer him up, and he told me what was happening. www.deviantart.com/journal/IMP…
I didn't know how bad it was on him. I had no idea what he was doing to himself. But I was just trying my hardest to make him happy. I told him anything I could think of to comfort him, and meant it from the bottom of my heart. I told him that I would always be here for him if he needed me. I started to panic and worry because I was just so concerned for him. And then he told me that he loved me. And I could barely breathe. And now I realize how important that moment was, because if Nathan hadn't told me right then, I could have lost him that night. He was contemplating suicide. And I told him I felt the same way because I had been dying to tell him this but I had been waiting because I wasn't sure if he would feel the same. And then he told me that he hurt himself and that's when I realized just how serious this was. I told him I was going to do whatever I could to help him, and even if we weren't together I would have done the same.
I'm so thankful that my love was enough to stop him. And I thank every god every day that that night didn't end up any differently. He's the most important thing to me in the world and he knows it. And even then I won't stop telling him that.
Thanks to him now I have plans for life. I know where I want to live. I know what college I want to go to. I can start preparing myself for my future with him. I have plans to meet him and be with him. And now I care about life more. I care about my art so much because of him, because he cares just as much as I do. He makes me feel confident in everything. Especially with myself. And I'm gonna dedicate every day of my life to make sure I'm doing the same for him.
TL;DR, Happy one year anniversary, Nathan. I love you all the world. I'm yours forever. I promise. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.
(P.s. super awesome artwork here done by my good friend ~<3 Go love on it)